Y'all know what goes off? That "Take a Hint" song from Victorious. Truly. I still jam to it to this day. What I don't like is the actual concept of taking hints. As in, someone doesn't want to tell me something because it'll be uncomfortable so they send subtle little signs and hope I figure out what they mean without them having to put on their big boy pants and tell me. I'm a smart person, so I can usually figure out what they mean. It's just that I very recently realized that
I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO.
I really shouldn't. What's the point? People like to tell themselves that they're sparing the other person's feelings or easing them into a difficult situation by not being straightforward, and maybe that's true, but it usually isn't. Usually, this weird habit of beating around the bush comes from a selfish desire to avoid conflict and ignore a situation in the hopes that it just...goes away.
Nothing "just goes away," you toddler.
Maybe you're scared of being yelled at. Maybe you dislike confrontation. Maybe you just really hate upsetting people, which is admirable, but you need to wake up. Halfheartedly kind of sort of telling someone some tough news isn't making life any easier for anyone besides yourself. Because now what you've done is taken some bad news--you don't want a second date, or they're not invited to the movies with the rest of the group, or they smell really bad--and not even delivered it. You're forcing this poor, unwitting second party to guess at your meaning, often to their own detriment. Why would you do that? Why would you want people just kind of guessing at what you have to say? Why???
This weird social convention has gotten to the point that it's considered rude or insensitive to just say what you mean. Because, I don't know, you're forcing someone to deal with unpleasant stuff head-on? And that's mean, or something? I guess? It's the kind of thing that makes less and less sense the more you think about it, especially since it's honestly more rude to just leave people hanging--so stop doing it. Be straightforward, be deliberate, and speak your mind without fear. Just try, for once, to be an adult.
LØTA